I was rewatching Casino Royale the other day and this scene really struck me. You know, James. I just want you to know that if all that was left of you was your smile, your little finger... you'd still be more of a man than anyone I've ever met. I realized that in so many ways, Vesper is speaking for the audience because James Bond represents our culture's masculine ideal. Whatever he is is what so many young men are kind of wishing they could become so in this video, I want to investigate who exactly that aspirational man is because there is definitely something to be learned — some positive traits that we can add to our lives.
But there's also some ideas of masculinity that we'd probably be better off discarding. The first thing you cannot miss about James Bond is that he is insanely capable, he's an expert in hand-to-hand combat, Texas Hold'em, sailing, parkour, holding his breath, hacking a computer, driving — kind of — and he's also in fantastic shape without ever seeming to need regular exercise. And that's just what we see in Casino Royale. In other films, he can fly a plane, drive a tank, dance the tango, speak eight languages... you get the point https://casinoslots-sa.co.za/neteller. The underlying message is that men should just know how to do stuff which may seem like an empowering message until you realize that none of Bond's skills seem to require any practice or learning and so even though we know that it's just the movie, part of us believes that we should just be good at stuff; that's not how the world works though. To master any one of Bond's skills would take a lot of unsexy practice time. This is what learning parkour actually looks like. Ugh. See that was not a green; that was not good. My heel,s touching it. The heels should never be touching it. If you mess it up, go again. That was nicer. This is what learning the tango looks like. So you go forward with the left, forward with the right, forward with the left, side with the right, and then you're gonna drag left foot to right foot without closing your feet. Can you imagine James Bond doing precision jumps for hours with no gap just to get his parkour timing right or dancing the tango alone to nail his steps? Probably not but that would be an absolutely essential piece if he ever wanted to actually have those skills in the real world. So while being capable across a diverse range of skill sets is admirable and can be really fun, you could never achieve that without lots of practice. Expect to be terrible at everything the first time you do it — the first many times. Expect to put in monotonous hours if you want to achieve mastery in any skill and expect to learn to have to appreciate that journey. It's less exciting than an instant skill set but it's the only way to learn anything for real. Second, we think of James as a man of action and he is but what really defines Bond is his inaction; he is unreactive whenever his life isn't immediately in danger. Sure, when the bullets start flying, he moves like crazy but when it's just words, he never gets flustered. Watch how he handles being tied up in a chair and simultaneously threatened and come onto by Silva in Skyfall. Oh, you're trying to remember your training now. What's the regulation to cover this? We all have first time for everything, yes? What makes you think this is my first time? Oh, Mister Bond. Or how he calmly handles Vesper's insults when she says that the poker game is a terrible idea in Casino Royale. Your boss must be well-connected; I've never seen so much go out the door so quickly. Quite so stylishly. Or how he later responds after being poisoned mid-poker tournament. I'm sorry. That lost hand; it nearly killed me. All these are funny moments but the greater point is that Bond doesn't waste energy on needless anger, frustration, threats, or worry. If he can change something to his benefit, he'll act but otherwise, he just moves on. This makes sure that he doesn't get stuck in his head reliving past mistakes or worrying about the future. And we would all do well to adopt the same mentality in our own lives. If somebody cuts you off on the way to work, speaks poorly about your work, makes a mistake that wastes your time — whatever it is — don't allow yourself to indulge in getting upset. Instead, just ask, "What action needs to be taken to shift things?" If there's something that you can do like speak calmly to that person and ask them to behave differently, go for it. But if there is nothing to be done like in the case where someone cuts you off, let it go as fast as possible. Knowing what truly matters and focusing on action above your ego will make you a happier and more attractive person. The third thing that you can't miss about James is that women love him and while James is a scripted male fantasy, there's a grain of truth in women's on-screen reaction to him. Women tend to be attracted to those two things that we previously mentioned — James is capable and unreactive. Just watch this next scene where both of those things are demonstrated. First — that he's capable and that he won a car in a hand of Poker and second — that he is unflustered when he suggests driving this woman home and she says, "No, thanks." Can I give you a lift home? That would really send him over the edge. I'm afraid I'm not that cruel. Well, perhaps you just had to practice. Perhaps. What about a drink in my place? Is it close? Very. One drink. Note that James isn't pushy nor is he cowardly; he's just flirtatious without fear of rejection. And because he's not worried about her not liking him, she reconsiders. Now this isn't a guaranteed outcome in the real world but it does demonstrate one useful point — We are all going to be quote-unquote rejected at some point. Someone in our dating life or professional life is going to say, "No, thanks." Reacting and getting upset only solidifies that no but remaining playful and not taking it personally creates a chance that they'll actually reconsider. Speaking of playfulness, the way that the rest of the scene plays out demonstrates how all of those aspects come together. Good evening, sir, and welcome back. Welcome to my home. So if there's a lesson here it's that we can all expect to be rejected in our lives if we go after what we want. But accepting that no is a possible our lives if we go after what we want happens creates an inner confidence that is both powerful and attractive. Fourth up and this is perhaps his most romanticized trait, James is willing to die for his ideals or at least to be tortured for them. Now realistically there's nothing really to be taken from this as most of us are not going to encounter creative types of torture from Le Chiffre but there is something metaphorical here and it's that we admire James because he sticks to his mission in the face of pain and that's what we all hope to see in ourselves. The things that we're pursuing in our lives may not come easily. It might feel like, metaphorically, we've been stripped naked and beaten and what keeps us going isn't necessarily the cool clothes or the fancy cars or the approval of others which can all be taken away but our inner conviction to stick to our guns and that's Vesper's point at the beginning. James isn't a man because of what he has acquired or even because he has man parts because at this point, she doesn't know if Le Chiffre has damaged him beyond repair. He's a man because of his actions in the face of adversity. You know, James. I just want you to know that if all that was left of you was your smile, your little finger... you'd still be more of a man than anyone I've ever met. And of course James hasn't lost his sense of playfulness which snaps Vesper right out of her despondent mood. That's because you know what I can do with my little finger. I have no idea. But you're aching to find out. Sticking to your guns in the face of adversity clearly isn't something that only men are capable of so we should all ask ourselves where the hardships are in our lives and if they actually dissuade us from continuing or if you're capable of laughing them off and staying the course. Now lastly, we have the conclusion of Casino Royale where Bond becomes Bond after Vesper's betrayal. He learns to trust no one and he completely shuts down his love for Vesper as well as any sort of emotional reaction to her death. Just watch. Christina: ...if you do need time. James: Why should I need more time? The job's done. The bitch is dead. The message here is that bond will not open himself up to being betrayed again and since Bond represents the ultimate in masculinity, it implies that real men don't open themselves up to being hurt. I'm not saying that that's the director's intent but I think that's how most of us interpret it when we see an ice-cold bond finally saying his iconic line at the end of Casino Royale. The name is Bond. James Bond. By learning to trust no one and wall off emotionally, Bond finally becomes the guy that we've loved for twenty-plus movies and of all the messages about masculinity and Bond, I think this one is the most destructive. Without getting too preachy here, real strength isn't demonstrated by walling yourself up from getting hurt. It's shown by opening yourself up to getting hurt because caring is worth it all the while knowing that if the worst happens, you have what it takes to pick yourself up and move forward. Yes, losing what you care about sucks but adopting emotional numbness as a strategy just makes life less vibrant. Now up until now, I've tried to deconstruct our culture's masculine ideal and I hope you see that some of it corresponds to pretty healthy behavior and some of it is more questionable which brings me to the big point — once you start to understand how you may have subtly been influenced by it, you don't have to unthinkingly accept the ideal masculine form in our culture, in Bond, or in anything. I personally find Bond's unreactivity admirable and I think learning from him in this area improves my life. The invulnerability that creates walls, that's something I'd rather not deal with and those are just my feelings. What's most important is that you bring awareness to the ways you might have been unthinkingly striving for someone else's ideal image of a man or a woman or any sort of ideal then you can purposely choose your own ideal instead of having it chosen for you. If you liked this video and you want more, you might want to subscribe to our channel. We create videos to help you become your most confident and charismatic self and if you subscribe you're gonna see our videos on your YouTube home page so that you don't have to worry about missing any. Also, this video was a bit of a departure from normalcy for me so let me know what you thought of it and if you have any other suggestions for future videos. Hope you enjoyed it and I will see you in the next one.
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It may not seem like it, but if you’re experiencing winter weather conditions, you’ll find them to be abating over the next few months. That means that if you haven’t already started planning the spring activities on your calendar, it’s time to get it in gear! Better yet, if you’ve already sent out invites or put the event on your alumni activities calendar, why not send out a refresher? Surely your alumni would love to know more about a springtime event now during winter weather. Sending out event invites now also gives alumni a chance to save the date and begin planning. Save the Dates fun alumni springtime announcements You don’t have to spend hundreds of alumni resource dollars just to mail out invites or save-the-dates. Start planning early by having an intern design a festive digital e-vite, or add a custom header graphic to your Facebook or other pages. Use social media or online invitation software to send out save-the-date invitations to folks on your alumni list. In addition to doing this, use all available media channels to remind your alumni that you have an important event coming up. Facebook, Twitter, your customized software applications and program notices posted in the alumni and admissions offices can make a real difference. Involve MVPs Have alumni MVPs within your resource box? Invite famous folks, valued athletes or important members of facility who are alumni or current students to help you create advertising for your events. A video invite that you post on social media networks or send out with your save-the-date can make alumni activities look like top-notch affairs. Create Swag What’s an event without great swag? If you already have some collateral made for the event, feel free to send out a few samples or create some buzz. Use pictures of t-shirts, cards or prizes you’re giving away or raffling off to get people in the know about the event. If you are doing mailers, feel free to send this information out to people who are on your list. You could also create an incentive program to give swag away to people who bring friends or other alumni with them to your activities! Even a potluck can yield some interesting results if you’re willing to do a raffle. When it comes to getting alumni on board with your activities, make sure you let them know how fun your events are going to be well in advance. If you utilize some of the above suggestions in marketing spring event, alumni will at least have something to look forward to when the drudgery of winter passes. We’ve discussed how alumni returning to college are often juggling families, jobs and responsibilities very different from the responsibilities experienced by college students in their early 20s. One of the most challenging things for these alumni can be filling out the college application and gathering required materials.
As an admissions counselor, giving your alumni all the help you can will ensure their success, and a higher completion rate at your university. Alumni who previously earn a degree with your institution are likely to complete a second degree as well – so if your alumni are successfully admitted, everyone wins. Time may be a critical factor when it comes to alumni completing applications, so it makes sense to provide some extra time for alumni to schedule application completion and have their questions answered at once. For alumni who are returning, a 1-2 hour workshop during an evening can make for better and more competitive applications – and the convenience of getting everything done at once is appealing to many alumni. Application Workshop Scheduling Many alumni are working during the day, so evening scheduling is important and should be kept in mind when determining a workshop date. After the date is set, it’s a good idea to ensure that your email list for alumni is up to date so that you’re not emailing students who are already enrolled or don’t need the extra help. Dividing your list to target students who need the night workshop from those who you know have a good grip on their application adds an individualized level of service to your incoming students. You can use your own judgment and personal experience to make decisions about which students should be on which list. Volunteering for Incoming Students Enrolled students who are doing internships or for-credit work with you can help new students with their application questions as well. If you have office assistants around, the night workshops could be a great volunteer opportunity to make sure incoming alumni are taken care of and have all their questions answered. When working with returning alumni admissions, it’s important to offer all resources available to ensure that students have their needs met. Incoming students are looking to create great applications, write comparative essays, and to get through the application process as painlessly as possible. By offering additional night resources to incoming alumni, you can ensure these students will have everything they need to complete their application process and await enrollment letters. As a college admissions advisor, it’s important to make sure both new and returning students are taking steps in the right direction. When faced with alumni who are considering becoming returning students, the game is different. Many alumni have led independent lives during their post-baccalaureate experience that includes families, jobs and responsibilities unknown to many young college students.
Returning alumni looking for college admission help may find a different world than the one they faced just a few years ago as a college student. Advances in internet technology and an abundance more college prep websites can help with alumni admissions. There’s so much out there – and by pointing alumni to the right websites, you could save yourself some work and assist them as they move through the college admission process. Preparing for the GREs Many returning alumni are going to graduate school as opposed to getting a second bachelor’s degree. These folks will be responsible for studying up on and taking the GRE. Most institutions require this standardized test, so it’s important to make sure alumni understand mastering the GRE. Much like the SATs, the GRE has a written, a literature/comprehension and a mathematics component. Many alumni approaching the GRE realize they haven’t prepped for the math skills to take the exam, so it’s important to choose the right review material to get alumni started. The GRE is very important to the college admission process, so alumni seeking readmission do need to study. As a college admissions consultant, you can suggest busy alumni who don’t have time for GRE study meetups use the internet to download valuable GRE material for studying. One great GRE prep website/online option to check out is Kaplan’s, one of the monsters in the test prep field. Program Prerequisites Alumni may also be required to fulfill prereqs for each individual department they’re a part of. Most departments make this information available online. In some cases, the info can be downloaded as part of a bulleted pdf or checklist so alumni can mark off each prereq as they fulfill it or understand it. We don’t want to eliminate your job as a college admissions consultant, but it is important to make the process look easy so your alumni don’t throw their hands up and say, “I’ll do this next term.” Online resources make it much more easier for alumni to study, prepare, help to understand how to write an essay, how to prepare for studying. |
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